I Just May Be Doing Something Right.....

Sometimes I feel like I am failing miserably at this whole "mother" thing. There are lots of times that I would like a do-over. I believe that being a mother is one of the hardest things in life. I mean look at all the messed up people around you who blame all their problems on their childhood...maybe their mother was too overbearing, too critical, too wrapped up in themselves, too worried about what others thought, too abusive, too uncaring, too negative, etc. etc. etc. It is hard to find the right balance to guide and nurture your children into becoming compassionate, productive, spiritual, confident people. I struggle with it EVERYDAY!!! I want my kids to think back and remember me as someone who loved them more than anyone else in this world, someone they trust with their life, someone who was their biggest fan, someone who they wanted to spend time with and be with, someone who didn't fix their problems-but gave them the tools to fix it themselves. I want them to think back and remember their childhood as happy, fun, loving.

Today, while going through Averi and Cali's backpacks, taking out all of their school stuff I found an autobiography assignment that Averi did. One of the topics she had to write about was the best advice she ever got. This is what she wrote:

"The best advice I've ever received was from my mom, she told me to 'Never Give Up.' I've always been into drawing, but time after time I would get frustrated. I thought I wasn't good enough. But she told me not to give up. To keep trying. I practiced and practiced. Everyday I strived to be better. And I did. Now I'm in AP Art and plan on taking art classes this summer. I won second place in the art show, and was chosen to have my art on the art show flyer. I was in the All-City art show, and in the May Fair. I didn't give up, and I never will. A little advice can go a long way. A little advice is something I now live on."

Wow! I just may be doing something right. You don't get many accolades being a mom. You don't get a yearly assessment or evaluation that tells you how you are doing or that commends you for the things you are doing right. But when you do find things like this. Or you hear things like, "You were my most favorite teacher ever!" from Cali. Or you get a thank you for something...it just, it just makes you feel validated!!! So, today I feel like I'm a good mom and that I am doing it right.

FYI-This picture was taking at Averi's school art show where she won second place. All of the drawings on the board are her's. Isn't she talented????

A Parable of Motherhood-by Temple Bailey

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is the way long?" she asked. And her guide said, "yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them, and life was good. And the young mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then night came, and storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold; and the mother covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Oh, Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come." And the mother said, "This is better than the brightness of day, for I have taught my children courage."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, but at all times she said to the children, "A little patience and we will be there."

So the children climbed, and when they reached the top, they said, "We could not have done it without you, Mother." And the mother, when she lay down that night, looked up to the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday, I gave them courage; today I have given them strength."

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth-clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said, "Look up, lift your eyes to the Light," and the children looked and saw above the clouds an Everlasting Glory, and it guided them and brought them beyond the darkness. And that night the mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years. And the mother grew old, and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.

And the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey; and now I know that the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them." And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said, "We cannot see her, but she is with is still. A mother like ours is more than a memory; she is a living presence."

Remembering Easter

Remembering waking up to, "Hey, the easter bunny didn't come." Coming from two girls who claim they don't believe in the easter bunny anymore.

Remembering sticking the baskets out on the front porch while the girls were occupied and them finding that the easter bunny HAD come as we left for church.

Remembering sitting in church next to my grandma.

Remembering singing old hymns that I remember singing every Easter growing up.

Remembering the much needed rain!!!!

Remembering how blessed my children are to have cousins their age to share life and holidays with.

Remembering how blessed I am for having a mom who made the day special for us by cooking us a delicious lunch.

Remembering the craziest egg hunt ever....it was raining so we had to improvise by sticking all of the eggs into a trash bag and letting the kids draw them out one by one. It was actually pretty fun.

Remembering how pretty my girls looked all dressed up for Easter.

Remembering the glorious nap I got later in the afternoon.

Remembering the sacrifice made for me.

Remembering God's love.

Remembering the promise and beauty this season holds.

OH. SO. CLOSE!!!

We are soooo close. After 5 weeks we are almost there. Our entryway/bathroom remodel is almost done. I cannot wait to have it done and over with!!!! I'm sick of plastic taped floors and paper taped trim and paint clothes and paint buckets and mess everywhere. I don't know which makes me more excited-the mess being gone or the actual finished rooms. I love, love, love how they have turned out. As soon as I get everything back together, I will share photos.

Here is what we have done:

Bathroom

• re-tiled the entire room...shower, floor, walls, sink counter top (this also entailed rebuilding the outer shower wall and strengthening the ceiling and replacing the drain and shower pan)
• removed wallpaper
• removed the popcorn off of the ceiling
• textured and painted the walls and ceilings
• painted and added pretty touches to the cabinet
• new light fixture, toilet, shower fixtures, sink and sink fixtures
• new light switches and switch plates
• new fan

Entryway

• removed tile floor and replaced with wood floor
• re-textured and painted the walls
• painted the ceiling
• replaced door handles, locks and hinges on front door, closet door, garage door, bathroom door, and basement door
• painted front door black

Whew!!! It is looking so good. I feel like a kid at Christmas.

On the wall next to the garage door we have been recording our heights for the past few years. Even Teddy has her height recorded.

Ideally, I would have liked to have kept it forever, but...my room makeover would have looked rather odd. So we had to paint over it. Actually the texture wiped it out first. Here's a bit of our family history hidden behind texture and paint on the wall of our home. It is heartwarming to know that it IS still there, just hidden behind a layer of mud and color.

So before Stan the man (our painter and my mom's husband) came the next day to cover it all up, we recorded our heights one last time. Chris measured 5'11". Me, 5 foot 1 and 1/2 inches...did I shrink or something? Averi four eleven and a half...she's catching up with me. Cali measured in at 4 foot 3 and 3/4 inches. And Teddy is 1'4". Awww!

What is some hidden treasure around your house?

Setting the Mood...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I am choosing to "shine" this week.

Happy St. Patty's Day!!!

I love St. Patrick's Day. I am a tad bit Irish so that may be the reason. Or, it could possibly be that it is just a really fun holiday.

There's no stressing in having to get the house all cleaned up because everyone is coming over.

There's no cooking and baking all day.

There's no shopping and trying to find just the right present for someone.

It is just a day to be all jolly and take pride in your Irishness.

I think back to my St. Patrick celebrations of years past:

I met my best friend on St. Patrick's Day 1990, this was also the same day that I began my phobia with port-a-potties.

The first time I had enough money to actually buy the O'Connell's mug with green beer in it was St. Patrick's Day 1993.

My first time to call in to work sick because I had a hang-over was the day after St. Patrick's Day 1996.

My first night away from Averi was St. Patrick's Day 1997.

My first time to ride in a cab (in Norman) was St. Patrick's Day 2003.

My first time to celebrate St. Patrick's Day at somewhere other than O'Connell's was 2006.

I spent St. Patrick's Day 2009 driving home from Santa Fe and I thought it was super cool that I actually drove through a town called Shamrock (in Texas).

I have lots of good memories pertaining to St. Patrick's Day. Instead of getting my party on and partaking in the drinking of green beer, I spent St. Patrick's Day 2011 cooking a green dinner for the fam. We had spinach tortellini with pesto, and nobody gripped or complained about it. Aren't I a lucky girl?

Oh, and just to settle an argument around here...do you have to wear green if you have green eyes?

Happy St. Patty's Day me friends!

Right Now...

Right Now, I am...

:: listening to Bill O'Reilly on Fox News, Teddy snore while sleeping on the couch, Chris' fingers hitting his computer keys, and Averi's pencil shading something in her sketchbook-lots going on here!

:: embracing the warmer days ahead and the beauty that this season brings.

:: enjoying having the week off for Spring Break-no school, no lessons, no practices!!!

:: marveling at the artistic talents of my daughter. Her drawings are simply amazing.

:: loving my bathroom makeover! It is getting close to done and I'm soooo excited.

:: feeling a little bummed that all of the shows I have DVR'd this past week got erased somehow...Sisterwives, Teen Mom 2, Jersey Shore, Glee, Amazing Race, The Real Housewives of Orange County...all of my smut, guilty pleasure shows.

:: watching time go too quickly

Right Now, I am...

So thankful for the Lent devotion that I read this morning and for the opportunities that it opened up for me today. It was all about forgiveness. There was an application to do and mine was so divinely orchestrated, it is almost scary. A very spiritual moment for me today that I completely saw a Glimpse of God in.